This American's German Life

So...I know I should be keeping a record of the things that are happening during this exciting adventure that we are on.  But, quite frankly, between learning German and taking care of my boys, I don't have a lot of time for the sort of leisure activity know has writing.  However, it will be important to have little reminders for myself once the ol' memory starts to fade.  For those who know me best can relate and completely understand the greatness that is bullet points and spreadsheets.  For example, I have a spreadsheet list of all the places we'd like to go, how long we'd like to stay, and lists of a few fun things to do there.  It's just how I think. So, as a compromise with myself, I've decided to keep an OUTLINE of our experience here in Europe.  This format is a bit more wordy than my spreadsheets, but doesn't get bogged down with fluff. I will add to the outline as we go on, so look for new things in previous posts!

So without further ado...

(Posted 27.5.14)
I. Things I LOVE about Germany

    A. Going grocery shopping.
          a. I can walk less than 5 minutes
          b. Takes only 30 minutes or less to choose my items
          c. The produce is SO MUCH BETTER (who knew that fruit actually had a flavor)
          d. Food is less expensive

    B. No need to drive EVERYWHERE (Americans have no idea what a pain in the ass their car really is).
          a. The U-Bahn goes all over Stuttgart
          b. The city is very bike friendly
               i. Space on U-bahn
               ii. Bike trails/lanes
               iii. Bike parking everywhere

          c. Everyone else walks because all shopping necessities are built where people live.

    C. Playgrounds here are AWESOME (Sorry, but American playgrounds are wussy in comparison) I'll post pictures over the years to prove this point.

Konstanz, Germany

Strasbourg, France

    

D. Simon would say, " The Autobahn".  

          a. If you have a fast car, you can drive it. Really. Fucking. Fast.
          b. Germans DO NOT RIDE IN THE LEFT LANE.  It is for passing only.

    E. German honesty.
          a. A German will not take something they see on the street (ex. A jacket) because IT DOES NOT BELONG TO THEM.
          b. People actually take things to das Fundbüro when they find them...amazingly refreshing.

    F. Bread and pastries...everywhere.  I don't think I have to explain this one, but I'll start taking pictures of the delicious treats I eat...just to remember.

Growing in new soil...

Living in a new place is always exciting to me because I like to explore things that I've never knew existed.  When that move takes you to a new country, that excitement (and uncertainty) increases exponentially.  Our little family just moved to Germany and every day I am amazed and grateful for all of these new experiences in our future.  There is so much to see and do that I can't decide what to do first.  Right now I've been focusing on learning the German language.  I have been really surprised at how much I'm enjoying learning it.  It's hard and the grammar rules don't make a lot of sense to me, plus this silly thing of masculine, feminine, and neutral nouns.  I'm slowly learning, though, and I hope that after we've spent our time here that I will be fluent.  Time will tell...

So far, I am really liking the lifestyle change.  I am so much more active during the day because we walk almost everywhere.  Everyday, Simon and Gavin walk to the U-Bahn station to go ride the train to school.  Logan and I walk to the grocery stores or the bakery two or three times a week to get what we need.  Then in the afternoon we take the train to get Gavin from school.  Everything is just so accessible that we've not needed to drive much at all.  Last weekend, I even went with a new friend on the train into downtown Stuttgart to do a little clothes shopping.  This was an interesting experience, since I had no idea of my European size.  I was expecting it to be an unpleasant experience, but I was pleasantly surprised with what I found...and yes, it included a pair of skinny jeans.

We bought a car mainly to go on excursions that the train can't take us to, like German castles or IKEA.  We went to Berg Hohen Neufen, a castle in ruins, several weeks ago to go hiking and we've made several trips to IKEA to purchase things to help organize and store things in our new German house that doesn't have closets (this is typical for German homes).  At this point, I think we are mostly settled in the new house and can focus more on sight seeing the many wonderful things that Europe has to offer, like bread and pastries.

A baby, a kid, and a new country

2013 has been a really crazy year for our little family.  We added the new baby to our herd back in April which has been a wonderful experience.  It hasn't been without it challenges, but overall, I feel it has been a smooth transition for our new little family member.  However, all of us will be making a HUGE jump in December when we leave for a 4 year stay in Stuttgart, Deutchland (Germany).  The Hubs will be taking on a new role in his career with Bosch and I will be taking on the role of European family travel agent.  So much to experience...it is really exciting.  We've been taking German lessons for several weeks and will continue our language lessons while in Germany.  The hardest part, so far, has been the physical move.  Movers came ~6 weeks ago and packed most of our things and sent it on a ship to our new home.  We've been shuffled around from place to place for quite some time living out of suitcases and bags.  It's been tough with the little guys.  But, on Dec 10, we will say "Auf Wiedersehen, Amerika" and say "Hallo Deutschland".

The Boys and I having a picnic in the mostly empty living room

The New Normal

It's been more than a year since I last contributed to this blog.  Mainly because the joys of parenting became consuming.  The little two year old that I last spoke of is now a 3.5 year old and our little family has grown by 1.  The life of a stay at home mom, is definitely not one that lends to something, I think, was called "free time".  So, I haven't been able to keep up with logging our story.  I've also never been much of a writer.  I wasn't one to keep a journal for very long, or find comfort in logging my thoughts or activities.  I'd always get caught up in formatting the page and proofreading it for spelling errors.  I'm the type who enjoys a good spreadsheet or bullet point outline.  That kind of habit doesn't lend well to thoughtful writing and it doesn't help me when I need to find a way to cope with daily struggles.  So, let's try this again...

Now my first Mother's Day with two children has passed and we all seem to be settling into our new normal. Growing Shellie Beans has become a harder task, though.  The (once toddler) now preschooler has reached a phase that has been testing my every limit.  I remember my sister being this way with my mother.  Very intelligent, picks up on little things to push buttons and is very good at exploiting them.  He's also begun to learn new tricks from his classmates.  His attitude and tantrums cause me to think about running away at least once a day.  But, like most things, some moments are good and others are not so good.  I have to keep reminding myself of this.  With the help of my husband, he was able to pick out an adorable Mother's day card for me.  He wrote 'mom' on the envelope and his name inside the card himself.   That was a good moment and I'd like to focus more of my energy in those moments.  It's hard, though.  I know that he is a good kid at heart.  I just wish he would stop yelling in my face and saying he's going to shoot me with rockets...

Handling the baby stuff, on the other hand, has been surprisingly easy.  Pregnancy and I did not mix well together.  I was depressed and angry for most of the 9.5 months and I feared that it would carry over into the postpartum months.   I've been struggling with the social expectation of breastfeeding for quite some time (like 4 years). Everyone seems to have an opinion on this subject and loves to judge you for your choices no matter what side their on.  I hate breastfeeding, though.  I don't hate the broad social concept of breastfeeding, just for me it sucks and I find no joy in it.  It is a huge source of stress, anxiety and frustration during a time that is hard enough.  Once I made the decision to pump and bottle feed, I felt liberated.  I really felt like I could relax and enjoy my second (and last) baby.  He is so sweet and cuddly that all I want to do is hold him (and I don't like to share), so I do without any frustration.  I'm sure others would view my choice as foolish or as a hassle, but it works for me. I know he's being fed well, he's happy and he's growing like a little weed.  All those who choose to judge me (and i know they do) can kiss my ass. 

Now on to coping with the daily task of caring for two stinky little boys :-)

Can we watch something else, please?

My little two year old has developed a liking to the television, lately.  Not in a bad way.  He isn’t glued to it like a zombie or anything, but he has a few shows that he really enjoys watching…over…and over…and over again.  His Aunt BK is partially to blame for this, along with his daddy.  You see, Aunt BK bought him some books for his birthday and one of them was a little "Cars" story.  Since he loves for Simon and I to read to him, we read this one with great enthusiasm.   Simon even did a few voices for the characters (since we’d seen the movie).  Well, Gavin just LOVED it when daddy would talk for Mater.  Simon does a good redneck accent and Gavin thought that was so funny to hear daddy talk like that.  Well…then we introduced him to the movie and that was all she wrote.  We have probably seen the movie “Cars” 100 times.  Thank god there are two movies for him to watch so I can at least enjoy a change in storyline.  His first question is always, “Mommy, where’s Mater?”  and I have to remind him that he doesn’t appear in the movie for just a little while longer. 

We’ve also found a few PBS cartoons that he enjoys.  Thomas and Friends, Dinosaur Train and Super Why!. These are all cute shows that I don’t mind watching, however the theme songs can get stuck in MY head and cause…nightmares.  Yes, I said nightmares.   There has been more than one night when the song from Super Why! has rolled through my dreams like a broken record that wouldn’t stop skipping.  Mix that with the theme to Thomas and Friends and it won’t make for a very restful night sleep. 

Occasionally, there are a few others that he’ll watch if I have chores to do and he’s missed the others.  There are only a few that I take issue with, though.  Not for content, mind you.  They are all very educational.  It is more an issue with the characters.  For example, Cailllou is about a little four year old boy and his growing up adventures.  However, for some reason, the creators of this cartoon have chosen to draw him with no hair.  He is four, so why doesn’t he have hair?  It took Gavin a long time to grow hair too, but he has a full head of hair now.  All of the other children on the show have hair.  Does he have a skin disease?  What is going on here that I missed?   

Sid the Science Kid is another one that irks me a little, but it is definitely not for content.  I love anything that encourages kids to ask questions about their environment and look for an explanation.  However, there is something about the drawing/animation that gives me the creeps.  I think it is their mouths.  It looks kind of like a puppet, but it’s not and it just looks weird.

I digress…

Last night he wanted to watch something, though, that he couldn’t explain to me very well.  “I want to watch the boat in the water, Mommy”, he kept saying.  However, I didn’t know what he was talking about.   He went to Daddy and repeated the same statement, but Simon didn’t know either.  He got so frustrated with us because we didn’t understand what he wanted.  We would ask him questions like, “Who was on the boat? Or What was the boat doing? but he couldn’t think of the answer.  We never figured out what he was talking about, so I just turned on a different show.   Thankfully, he is a really easy going kid because the potential tantrum did not ensue.  I think he just decided that he liked the one that we turned on instead and went back to his toys. 

That'd Be Fun!

Things have really begun to fall into place for us here in Chicagoland.  We have begun to settle into the new house with great comfort.  I am proud to say that I’ve hung all of the family pictures around the house and created a very homey feel to the place.  There are still some boxes around that need to be emptied, though.  Most of the stuff in them is completely useless and I need to throw it all away, but for some reason can’t seem to manage it.   I don’t know why this is.  I guess it is because I feel the need to “go through it” before I toss the stuff.  The reality is that I haven’t needed or used it since before we moved, so I SHOULD just take the box to the trash and dump it.  I tried it with a couple of boxes, but it didn’t work.  I just took the box downstairs, looked inside and thought to myself, “there might be something in there I want”.  I then sat the box down by the stairs and that is where it remains.   For the past month, it has sat in this spot.  I even put it in a slightly inconvenient spot so that I wouldn’t ignore it.  Alas, I just walk around it and say to myself, “I will get to that tomorrow.”

Simon is still having silly dreams about the basement flooding any time it rains.  I really don’t understand why he has this fear in the back of his mind.  He knows that it is completely irrational.  Maybe, one day, he won’t worry so much.  I’m not going to hold my breath, though.  Even our last house, with all of its problems, never had a flooded basement.  Yet, for some reason he felt the need to go down and check for moisture.  I tease him sometimes and ask if he needs to take his snorkel.  Luckily he can, at least, laugh at himself about it.  This house is much newer, though, has a brand new roof and has TWO sump pumps… just in case :).

 

I have also been able to find part-time work for myself.  This has really helped to maintain my sanity at home and keep many of my skills honed.  As many of you know, I am a fitness trainer by trade and one of my goals was to find a fitness facility where I could teach a variety of fitness classes.   Well, I have accomplished this goal and now teach three (different) fitness classes at a physical therapy center close to our house.  It even has a playroom that Gavin can go to while I’m teaching.  It has really worked out well.  I had been worried about his lack of interaction with other children.  He is such a social child and I felt a little bad that he only had ME to play with all day.  Since taking this new job, he has been able to play with a group of kids his age twice a week AT NO EXTRA COST to us.  Plus, I get to interact with some adults for a little while.  They apparently have really great trucks to play with because anytime I mention the playroom, he tells me, “Go play with trucks!”  I guess that means he likes it.  

Gavin has become so observant.  The little mimic picks up on things that you had no idea he even noticed.  Back in the summer, we all went to Florida for a little vacation.  While we were there, I had to put on the brakes really hard at a red light and said under my breath, "$hit".  For awhile, anytime I put on the brakes, Gavin would scream "OH $HIT!" It was so embarrassing to have people ride in the car with me.  I have tried to discourage this by trying to redirect his thoughts to another word.  At first, I tried, “Oh Chipmunk!”  but that didn’t work very well, probably because he doesn’t know what a chipmunk was.  So, lately, I’ve turned it into “Pirate Ship”.  Believe it or not, but that seems to be working.  He then starts talking about the pirate ship that he saw in Home Depot over Halloween.  He doesn’t do it as much anymore, thank goodness.  He still says it once in awhile and I am reminded that I need to watch my language.

He has also picked up some less embarrassing phrases.  Recently he was telling us, “Wanna go zoo, mommy daddy.  That’d be fun!”  Simon and I thought that was too cute, but wondered where he had picked up that phrase.  Well, we were talking with his grandma a few days later and she was asking Gavin about what he was going to do that day and after he told her, she said, “That’ll be fun!”  She used the same word inflection and everything.  I guess we know where he heard that one.  Then yesterday, he and I were playing in the floor and he tooted, which he thought was just hilarious.  We both laughed really loud and when he stopped he exclaimed, ”Oh goodness!” just like I do when I finish laughing really hard.  I laughed even harder at thatJ.  Hearing his little voice say these adult phrases is really cute.  It is even hard not to giggle when he says the embarrassing ones.  It is a reminder, though, that I need to be more conscientious of the words that come out of my mouth.  There may be some that I wish not to have repeated back to me.

Another Move and a New House

Mommy finally gave me a haircut!

Our summer has been full of transition.  I think it has been hard on all of us.  While the apartment was quite comfortable, nothing in it was ours and just never felt like home to any of us.  There were no family picture or homey touches that we like to have surrounding us.  However, we all seem to be settling in now that we have moved into our new home.  Simon is growing accustomed to his new commute to work.  In our past locations (South Bend, IN and Statesboro, GA), we became a bit spoiled with the 10 minute commute to work.  He has a 40 minute commute now, but he commented the other day that, “it gives me more time to listen to NPR.”  I was surprised at the lack of sarcasm that I heard in his tone when he said it.  He speaks about his work with much more optimism than I would hear when he worked in South Bend.  I think this is a true testament to how your environment and the others around you can affect your outlook.  <Note to self:  Don’t be negative and stop being so critical>

I really like this little Critter book.  He sure is a lot of fun!

I love my daddy! 

For me, it’s been more than just a change in scenery.   It has been a complete job change – to one that is 24/7.  That’s hard for me because I like my “ME” time.  The natural introvert that I am get’s exhausted with the constant interaction and I need alone time to decompress.  Thank GOD I gave birth to a son that likes to sleep in and take long naps.  He is also very good at entertaining himself while I work to organize the new house.  Our new house is very open, which is great because  he can play in the family room and I can still talk to him while I’m in the kitchen, so I don’t feel like I’m ignoring him.  Lately, though, it has been a challenge getting him to bed.  We had a nice routine in our South Bend house.  He went to bed without any trouble, really.  Oh, there were the occasional nights when he wasn’t sleepy, but that wasn’t the norm.  Lately, though,  he has been very resistant.   He’s starting to come up with excuses not to lie down.  I’ll finish reading him a book and tell him it’s time to go to bed, then he’ll try to distract me.  “Read dis book, Mommy!”  or point to things (that he is all too familiar with) and ask, “Whaz dat, Daddy?”  I think part of the change is that Simon’s commute brings him home later and he misses Gavin.  Gavin gets so excited when Simon comes in the door, which Simon (and I) love.  They just love to wrestle in the floor, do somersaults and play ‘ride the daddy horse’.   However, once bed time rolls around, we haven’t been able to calm things down.   We go up to Gavin’s room to read books and the wrestling continues.  Needless to say, bed time hasn’t been all that calm.  I had to remind us a couple of nights ago that “this is time to wind DOWN.”   We all laugh, jump, roll around and have fun, then wonder, “Why won’t Gavin go to sleep now?”   Humm, maybe it is because his heart rate has increased and his adrenaline levels are higher and is just SUPER excited to be playing with his parents.  Oh what silly parents we are… One day we’ll get the hang of this stuff.